Regular Golf

I’ve got this theory. Regular golf is not all that different from mini-golf! I know, I know, regular golfers will snicker and say ol’ Jim has finally burrowed into the sand trap.

First, I have to define mini-golf. It is a game played on REAL MG courses, not the “rinky dink” Disney-types, with giant mice, elephants, etc.

There are two such courses up near Philadelphia that would challenge anyone who has ever putted a golf ball. (One is 26 holes, the other is 36; 18 + 18. I forget their pars, but think it’s something like 64, 56, and 60, maybe.)

My theory is that much of golf (of either kind) is LUCK. If you have ever watched golf on TV, pay attention to the statistic of “fairways reached,” and “greens in regulation.” EVEN TIGER misses the fairway, goes into traps, overshoots a green, and fails to sink a putt now and then.

I had an adventure on a regular course a number of years ago that is the basis for my theory. On a par four hole, I miss-hit my drive off to the right. I then hit a decent shot that landed about half-way to the green. My third shot hit the left side of the green rolled up and to the other side, kept rolling down to front of green and plopped into the hole for a birdie three.

One week later, I did exactly the same thing. Miss-hit, decent hit, ball curved into hole from same point on green, and same birdie score. I think I had same partner both games, but I’m not sure. He was flabbergasted, too!

I don’t think I played 50 times in my whole life. I often went 12, 15, or 20 years between games. I never broke 100. I was never taught how to swing or anything about the game. I was the quintessential “hacker.” Much of golf is luck, I maintain, and Augusta, it’s time to let the women join!